Argus Filch lugubriously accepted that he wouldn't be able to hang Fred and George up by their thumbs for filching the confiscated items from the coffer in his office. As much as he tried to ingratiate himself to Dumbledore to bend the rules, the headmaster was intractable in his decision and made rejoinders about such things as 'human rights' and the like.
lugubrious: sorrowful, mournful, dismal
coffer: strongbox, large chest for money
ingratiate: to gain favor with another by deliberate effort, to please somebody so as to gain an advantage
intractable: not easily managed or manipulated, stubborn, unruly
rejoinder: response, retort, riposte
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